M0R1BUND

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The piece titled 'Yuri Six-Cants'. Long description below.

[Long description:

Yuri Six-Cants, area thief and/or rift ghost of Guild Wars 2 infamy. He has kind eyes and a sweet, round face, and is built like a brick shithouse. He wears his black hair in tight coils, which are drawn back into a braided bun. A streak of premature greys runs through it. He’s dressed toe to tip in thick gloves, boots, and a heavy overcoat, which is black with a reddish-brown trim. Little triangular motifs are repeated throughout. He wears a red bandana around his neck, and two flintlock pistols around the waist.

Sometimes his form is not so stable, and it ripples with black smoke that shimmers red, purple, and indigo in the light. If Yuri could ever be described as ‘severe’, this is probably the closest he gets.

Many lighthearted doodles are strewn around him. In one, he lays over a desk and tosses a throwing knife up and down; in another, he hits a bar with his felid Charr friend, Ximone. He looks at once exhausted and woebegone, and is labeled with an arrow that says ‘Can’t escape the greater Krytan polycule.’ Ximone just looks at him, worried but uncomprehending, and is labeled with an arrow that says ‘Doesn’t get why, but trying to be supportive.’

Another doodle shows the two of them going ballistic to the chorus of ‘Livin’ on a Prayer’ by Bon Jovi. A very minimized Yuri is drawn on top of a screenshot of a mists rift collapsing in on itself, and he looks pretty lost. Finally, a tiny Yuri lays defeated in a pile of mail, which is drawn over a screenshot of his in-game inbox. It has been thoroughly blown up.]

Yuri Six-Cants

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Boo boo the fool got into Guild Wars 2 recently, so you are about to see a lot of that. It has tickled the part of my brain that enjoyed keeping a character journal in TES games, so if you remember all that, then you know exactly what’s coming.

Anyway, this is my boy Yuri Six-Cants. He is “not very bright,” but he has a heart of gold and I love him. Some schtuff about him…

    • all of the fuckery that happens to him can, in one way or another, be traced back to the fact that he can’t learn to say “no” to some boy he met. He’s like if a slice-of-life dating sim protagonist swapped places with someone’s ill-fated ttrpg character ):
    • best friends with Ximone (the charr) who is snoodles’ character, and together they are Ending War
    • has had an embarrassing litany of crushes on men who either don’t respect him or don’t reciprocate. Seems to have finally found happiness as Trahearne’s commander 😉 but (looks at Heart of Thorns) haha. They’re in danger.
    • owes a blood debt to the Lastborn, a sylvari(?) pariah who dragged his dead body out of the desert one time. This is diplomatically inconvenient as everyone around him is convinced he is bad news, but ): he’s such a nice boy to Yuri
    • got a little fucked up in the mists rift. Came Back Wrong. Don’t Worry About It.
    • my mom calls him yuri six-pants
    • ⠀
    • fuck it here’s an essay
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